Be Still and Know
How I found peace amidst cancer and new opportunities to help others.
Going through cancer has changed me in a lot of positive ways.
It’s also helped me learn more about finding peace in fearful times.
A new season
Seven years ago, my husband and I moved to Bennett, Colorado, a small town east of Denver, from the Midwest. We love the mountains and the sunshine, compared to those battleship grey skies of a Michigan winter.
I’ve been faithful to get a mammogram every year, but during the hectic transition of moving to Colorado, buying a house and getting a different job, I decided to skip it that year.
When we were settled, I saw a doctor, but I was a year late for my test. This time they flagged me for further testing, and I awaited news.
Getting the call
On a Friday afternoon in June of 2019, I was filling in for the receptionist at the company I worked for in Denver. I have worked as an administrative assistant for most of my career, and so sometimes I’m asked to do jobs like this.
While I was answering the phones, my doctor called and told me I had breast cancer.
I was in shock. I have no family history of breast cancer and had no symptoms leading up to this.
The work phone kept ringing, but I knew I needed to leave early to give myself space to process the news.
On my way home, I started bawling. I wondered, how did I get myself into this predicament? And how can I get myself out?
There were no easy answers.
Good news, bad news
The doctor told me the good news was the cancer was found in only one spot and had not spread to any lymph nodes. But the treatment would require a lumpectomy and radiation, and possibly chemotherapy.
I didn’t fear dying because they caught it early, but I did fear getting chemo and how it might change my body.
I have a slight frame to begin with and I was terrified of how the chemotherapy would affect me, especially with with nausea and vomiting. Also, like a lot of people, I didn’t want to lose my hair.
How I find hope, strength and peace against cancer
I found hope through prayer—just knowing that God is with me and that he was in control of my situation. One specific experience reminded me of this in a powerful way.
As I was relaxing on the back deck of my house on a Sunday afternoon, a house finch, while sitting on the deck railing, looked directly at me and sang. The instant the bird flew away I heard a still, small voice in my head saying, Be still and know that I am God.
I believe God was reminding me of his presence and care for me with these words from Psalm 46:10. I felt such peace.
The experience gave me assurance, that no matter what happened, whether I had to endure chemo or not, or wherever this journey led me, God was in control and was taking care of me.
Next steps
This peace gave me hope for what lay ahead. Throughout my 33 rounds of radiation, I slept like a baby and didn’t worry, though there were plenty of reasons to be concerned.
Around that time, I also met with my doctor to get news about my next step with treatment.
Meeting with the oncologist, he gave us surprising news: he told me that I didn’t need chemo—which was a huge relief. My husband, who was with me, let out a whoop of joy; I’m pretty sure the whole office heard us celebrating.
Challenging moments
While the outlook for my cancer was good, I still faced challenges, especially loneliness. When you get cancer, time seems to slow down for you, while everyone else’s life seems to be humming along as normal.
I felt especially lonely as I headed to work one day. I remember thinking, Does anybody really care about me? Does anybody remember that I have cancer?
A few minutes later, a friend texted me and told me she was praying for me. Later that day I also received a card from someone. These seemingly small acts of kindness proved a big lift—underscoring the importance of practical acts of encouragement for those facing the journey.
Starting Be Still and Know
About a year after my diagnosis, I was on a walk with my husband and told him I wanted to do something to encourage women with cancer. And he said, “Well, what do you think it is?”
I explained how I wanted to send women encouragement bags and start an organization called, “Be Still and Know Inc.”
Not long after we applied for 501c3 status and were quickly accepted.
How I have changed
I have always been a caring and empathetic person, but cancer made me more so—especially for others facing it.
I am an introvert by nature, and in groups I often don’t say much. But going through cancer changed me, especially as I started my own cancer nonprofit.
People knew me as a quiet administrator, supporting others, but now as the founder and director of Be Still and Know Inc., I have grown bolder, sharing about my story and the organization I founded in groups of people or networking with cancer centers.
So far, we have distributed more than 1,600 encouragement bags to people going through cancer. For women, the bags contain a bracelet with a Bible verse or encouraging saying along with items including a devotional book, a type of lotion that helps during radiation, and some lavender linen spray for relaxation.
We also offer encouragement bags for men, caregivers and those in hospice/palliative care as well.
It means so much when I hear stories of how these bags are encouraging others. If you want to give a bag to someone, you can find out more on my website.
Advice for others
For those facing cancer, stay as positive as you can. Surround yourself with positive people.
I know that getting news about cancer is a moment in your life that feels anything but still and peaceful. But you can find peace.
God is powerful and he can help you. Whatever your background or belief, know that God wants to walk alongside you and help carry you through your cancer experience.
If you don’t have a relationship with God, you can begin one today, and find peace in fearful times. Like I have.
For more about how to begin a relationship with God see Knowing God Personally.
To unlock the power of prayer see Asking God for Help.
For a 7-day email series on finding hope, see The Pathway to Hope.
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How to find God’s hope, strength and peace
