Getting a cancer diagnosis is overwhelming to say the least.

To be overwhelmed by something is to be overpowered or overcome by it, and cancer can bring many overwhelming feelings and emotions.

The early days of a diagnosis can be the most stressful.

Not only are you suddenly processing the news of being unwell, but in the meantime, there are so many decisions to make. Decisions about treatment, decisions about how to share this news with friends and family, decisions about how to stay hopeful.

A wave of overwhelm

One way to describe it can be like you are standing in the ocean, when suddenly a powerful wave breaks on you and knocks you over.

Perhaps you sit there for a while, dazed, while more waves continue to pound you in the sand and surf.

That’s certainly how I felt.

My story

At just 37 years old, I was diagnosed with stage IV bile duct cancer, which is incurable and has a short life expectancy.

My life seemed to be headed on a predictable path, until I started having some strange symptoms: lower back pain.

I was otherwise very healthy, happily married and a new father. Then suddenly, I received this terrible news which upended everything in my life. You can read my full story in the About Us section on this website.

Finding your footing

After being knocked over by the initial wave of my diagnosis, I found it helpful to pick myself up and try to find my footing. In fairness, I didn’t just “pick myself up.” I had a lot of support and help from family and especially through my faith.

In interacting with hundreds of people facing cancer, here are a few thoughts I’d share about how to find your footing in these early days of feeling overwhelmed. At the end of this article, I will also share more about the cancer nonprofit I started, Hope Has Arrived, and how we help people find hope.

But first, here’s a few steps I recommend taking to avoid the overwhelming feelings during these early days.

5 Steps to take

1. Lean into your places of hope.

   We all have places that we find hope, whether that is through our support network of family and friends, the resources we have or our spiritual beliefs. Go there. Now is the time to lean into those places of hope.

2. Give yourself grace.

   Be easy on yourself; you are going through a lot right now. Give yourself grace and space to process this. Sometimes we can be our own harshest critic, and right now you need to give yourself space be ok with not being ok.

3. Simplify your life.

   When you are facing cancer, you have less capacity to deal with normal struggles. Part of being overwhelmed is trying to deal your diagnosis while simultaneously trying to keep the rest of your life going like normal. As much possible, simplify your life and pull back from some things so you can focus more on finding your footing.

4. Meet with health professionals.

   Like it or not, finding good medical care is an essential part of finding hope on a cancer journey. It’s helpful to meet with doctor and find out more about what you are facing. You should also seek a second or third opinion if you are not satisfied with the answers you are getting.

5. Pray and ask for prayer.

   When facing challenging days, it’s a good time to ask for help outside of yourself. I know this was incredibly helpful for me, and I’m not alone. Many people facing cancer have found strength and peace through praying and asking God for help. In fact, a recent survey by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicated that 69% of cancer survivors pray regularly about their health. To learn more about prayer, see the resources at the end of the article, as well as the rest of our site.

   

5 Steps NOT to take:

Now that I have shared a few helpful steps for avoiding the overwhelm, I think it may also be helpful to share a few steps to avoid. Some may be subjective, but I think they are worth considering:

1. Don’t abandon hope.

   You don’t know what will happen today and especially tomorrow. Even if you think you can envision your future, know it will likely be different than what you think. Therefore, why abandon hope, when hope is what you need most of all?

2. Don’t envision the worst-case scenario.

   It can be easy when faced with a diagnosis to go to the worst-case scenario, trying to envision the future only brings pain. Hope is not ignoring the challenges you face, but knowing that you don’t know the future, and it may not turn out like you think. Therefore, what good will envisioning the worst case do for you? Stop it.

3. Avoid researching your diagnosis if it increases your fear.

   This is especially true if you have a serious diagnosis. Dr. Google and ChatGPT won’t hold back on grim statistics that may or not be applicable to your situation. Talk to a doctor to help you understand more about what you are facing. And if you want to research more about it, perhaps you can enlist the help of a trusted family member or friend.

4. Don’t keep your diagnosis a secret.

   Sometimes keeping it a secret only increases the fear. Some people may want to tell everyone about what they are facing, others may tell only a select few. We all process things differently, but you should tell someone, so that you don’t face it alone.

5. Don’t spend too much time in draining places.

   Countless studies have shown the negative impacts of social media. If you really want to find refreshment and hope, looking for that on social media can be difficult (I say this a bit ironically, because a fair number of people discover Hope Has Arrived this way). Still, it is wise to consider how much time you are spending in places that drain your hope rather than give it. You need to limit your time with things like social media, toxic people, substances and activities that numb you rather than give you refreshment.

More about Hope Has Arrived

I founded Hope Has Arrived in 2018 to help people find hope in the midst of the overwhelm of cancer. We want to help them find hope, strength and peace against cancer through four different ways:

• Stories of hope
• Strength for the journey
• Asking God for help
• Prayer and Support Group

You can find out more here.

I created the resource that I was wishing existed when I went through my own cancer journey. Later, the organization grew. We now have a board and a full support staff.

From interacting with thousands of people with cancer, I have found each of these four areas to be helpful for the following reasons.

Hopeful stories

Stories can give hope, as I experienced it firsthand. It was difficult to find examples of people facing a similar cancer type to mine, especially that were hopeful. But I did hear of one.

I heard of a guy with a similar diagnosis to me, who had been living for seven years and counting. While I didn’t ever get to meet him, knowing that he surpassed the life expectancy helped open to my eyes to what might be possible.

Strength for the journey

I also longed to find some articles written by people with experience that would give me some helpful advice and knowing what struggles I might later face. But it was hard to find any that were not hopeless or some kind of advertisement for a clinic (medical is important, but all of the ads about breakthroughs can feel overwhelming).

I also wanted to hear more advice than just “fight it,” as I was going to need more than that to survive.

Asking God for help

The power of prayer cannot be overstated. I found so much hope and peace when I prayed…not just for myself, but for my family and other people I knew that were facing hard times.

Today, not everyone comes from a spiritual background, and they don’t know how to pray. People write us all of the time about this. One of the ways we help people is giving them some tracks to run on with prayer. The article Asking God for Help has been especially popular on our website.

Prayer and Support Group

Lastly, finding community can be very helpful. That’s why we created a prayer and support group on Facebook. We have hundreds of other fighters, survivors and caregivers in there who are ready to pray for you and support you on your journey. You are not alone, nor were you ever meant to be!

Help with the Great Overwhelm

I know there are a lot of places online, even within the cancer space, that are trying to suck you into joining their next course or webinar and to harvest your information. Then they will bombard you with info until they get you to do what they want you to do.

Let me tell you, that is not the purpose of Hope Has Arrived.

We are not here to add to your overwhelm, but to help be place that frees you from it. Our goal is serve as a resource to help you find hope…when you are ready.

We will be here to help you find hope, strength and peace when you need us.

My prayer is that you will find hope today and all your days ahead, especially in light of the great overwhelm.